How to leave an annoying person. How to get rid of an annoying fan or admirer? What to do if the person who is making your life miserable is a member of your family

I had been preparing this article for a long time, but I still could not write it for the reason that I was not sure that I had a complete understanding of how to get rid of obsessive thoughts.

Now I have experienced first-hand how to deal with such thoughts and I am fully prepared to tell you about it.

Perhaps some of my readers think that from the moment I started creating this site, I completely got rid of all personality problems. Indeed, I had already changed a lot by the time of the first entries in this blog, but my current state cannot be called complete freedom from negative emotions, prejudices and fears.

My situation can be described as a struggle with myself, during which experience and materials for these articles are born. Of course, in this confrontation between my true Self and the primitive, instinctive, emotional Self, the former gradually wins.

But this struggle continues: two steps back and four steps forward. Self-development stems from awareness of one’s shortcomings and working on them. If there is no struggle, then this does not indicate final victory, but rather capitulation.

After all, self-development is an endless process. I continue to face some problems and struggle with them. Including obsessive thoughts.

Mental "chewing gum"

I've always had these thoughts. They could occupy my head and make me nervous, endlessly thinking about the same experiences. It was like mentally chewing gum.

I constantly chewed the same thoughts in my head, trying to resolve them, untie some imaginary knot. But from my attempts to loosen it, on the contrary, it became even tighter.

I remember how, back in my early childhood, I couldn’t stop thinking about some things that I didn’t have to think about at all. My brain’s habit of endlessly “processing” certain experiences and ideas must have worsened during times of other psychological problems.

I recently realized that I have learned how to deal with intrusive thoughts. Moreover, I am ready to formulate a method that allows me to get rid of them. I realized that this article can now finally appear.

Intrusive thoughts are emotions

This is the first thing you must understand. Obsessive thoughts are emotional, unconscious, irrational in nature. They are associated with your unreasonable fears, anxieties and complexes.

That's why they are obsessive. The emotions that form in you make you constantly think about something. They seem to signal “Problem! Problem! We must look for a solution!”

It's like a notification in Windows or another operating system that appears in the form of an icon and will annoy your eyes until you update some program, remove the virus, or install the necessary driver.

We can say that obsessive thoughts also have a positive function. They remind you of problems you need to solve. And you can’t just turn off these “notifications.” It's hard to die of hunger when your brain constantly reminds you of food.

But, unfortunately, obsessive thoughts do not always tell us about some real problem. The mechanism by which these thoughts arise is quite subtle. And if, for some reason, the “standard settings” of this mechanism go astray, then natural human fears and worries can take an extreme form, manifesting itself in the form of obsessive thoughts, which are very difficult to get rid of.

Everyone knows how normal concern for one's health can develop into hypochondria, how natural fear of danger threatens to turn into paranoia.

And so you become a regular visitor to medical forums, and thoughts about your health do not leave your head. Maybe you constantly think about danger while you're outside. Or you can’t get out of your head the thought of what people think about you, although you yourself don’t see any point in thinking about it.

The point I want to make is that intrusive thoughts are based on emotions. Therefore, they do not have a rational nature. Therefore, they cannot be fought with logic.

This is a very important conclusion. I watched myself a lot, tried to understand how these thoughts appear and how they disappear, how my mind tries to deceive and confuse me. Previously, in the evening, when I was very tired, I could not stop some thoughts.

For example, I could start to think something bad about myself, blame myself. No matter how skillful the internal lawyer turned out to be, who, using logic and common sense, tried to convince me that everything was not so bad (although of course he did not rule out the problem), the blaming party always gained the upper hand, and everything became even more confusing. The more I tried to justify myself and get rid of annoying thoughts with the help of thoughts, the more confused I became and the more these thoughts overpowered me. This sport with oneself led to the fact that the invisible knot was tightened even more tightly.

The next day, in the morning, with a fresh head, I didn’t even want to think about this problem. If I began to reflect on yesterday’s “dialogue” with myself, then I understood that there was a problem, but it was greatly inflated and exaggerated by my condition. I realized that the problem needed to be solved, not thought about. There is no point in these thoughts.

After some time, I realized the deception and insidiousness of these thoughts. If you try to destroy them with logic, they will still prevail, because they are irrational and illogical and make you believe in absurd ideas that common sense is powerless against.

You can't eliminate obsessive thoughts with logic

If you are in a self-blame mindset, you will continue to blame yourself even when you have nothing to blame yourself for. Because this is your mood and it is from this that these thoughts stem, and not because of some real situation! Even if you suddenly manage to convince yourself for a minute that these thoughts are groundless, after some time they will return again if you resist them and continue to logically resist them.

If you are in a mood in which you think that you are sick, that something bad will happen to your health, then no amount of positive test results will convince you otherwise. “What if the tests turned out to be inaccurate?”, “What if I have something else?” - you will think.

And you will not see the end of these thoughts, no matter how absurd from the standpoint of common sense they may be.

It is useless to try to refute them. Because it is impossible. They will come back and attack you with new absurd arguments, which you will believe because you are in an emotional state that gives rise to these thoughts about non-existent problems.

Remember the state when you are worried about something. No matter how much you convince yourself that everything will be fine, that there is no reason to worry, your perception, distorted by nervous tension and excitement, paints your prospects in the darkest colors. Not because everything is really bad, but because that’s how you perceive everything now. If in such a state you begin to think and talk a lot about the future, then your negative perception will attract your thoughts to the “negative” pole and it is difficult to break out of this attraction.

Method for getting rid of obsessive thoughts

You will need common sense, but only at the very beginning.

First of all, you need to figure out whether your obsessive thoughts are based on some real problem. It happens that mental chewing gum torments you, exaggerating the problem. But an exaggerated problem does not mean its absence.

So think about what reasons there are for these thoughts. When getting rid of thoughts, you should not ignore the problem, if there is one. For example, it seems to you that you have some kind of illness and thoughts about it do not leave your mind.

Maybe these are really not groundless fears, and you have symptoms of some disease. If this is the case, go to the doctor. If you have already done this and have not found anything, forget it.

Regardless of whether there is a problem or not, there is no point in constantly thinking about it! You either try to solve it if it exists, or forget about everything if it does not exist.

This is the only moment in the fight against obsessive experiences in which you need to apply logic and common sense.

What to do?

Choose a moment in time when you are in the best moral state, when you have more optimism and strength than usual. For example, in the morning when you are full of energy, after exercise or after.

Convince yourself that there is no point in replaying the same thoughts in your head thousands of times. That these thoughts are deception or exaggeration designed to confuse you.

Understand the following things well

• you will not come to a solution to a problem if you constantly think about it
• obsessive thoughts have no rational basis, and if they are related to some problem, then you will solve it, instead of constantly returning to it with thoughts
• you cannot get rid of mental gum with logical argumentation and reflection

Realize the absurdity of obsessive thoughts

Next, you can once again, with the help of several logical theses, expose the absurdity of obsessive thoughts. For example: “I have nothing to be afraid of, because the tests showed nothing”, “people don’t die from panic attacks, I’ve read about this more than once”, “no one is trying to harm me”, “even if there really are things to be afraid of” , you don’t need to think about them 1000 times a day, this will only lead to nervous exhaustion.”

Your argument against obsessive thoughts should be clear and concise. You should not get carried away by arguing with yourself. Remember, in a long-term argument with obsessive thoughts, you are doomed to failure, in which emotions and fears will prevail over logic and reason, and negative perception itself will “pull” thoughts to the negative pole.

To destroy the force of this attraction you need to think less. When you think about annoying thoughts and chew on them endlessly, you only make them stronger.

Give yourself the mindset to ignore intrusive thoughts.

Tell yourself that you will no longer think about what you think about all day long. and what plagues and torments you. Indeed, why constantly chew mental gum when it brings no benefit?

An obsessive thought is a repetition of the same thought in different ways. You will not get any new and valuable information from it, you will not come to any decision.

Therefore, give yourself the mindset not to get carried away by fruitless thoughts. After you've told yourself this, made a promise that you won't break, draw an invisible line. After this trait, you no longer pay attention to intrusive thoughts.

Don't expect the thoughts to never come back

They will come back more than once. Tune in like this: “Let them come back, what difference does it make, I realized that these thoughts are deception and do not relate to the real problem.”

Thoughts will come back, sometimes you will again begin to untie this knot in your head. As soon as you notice that you are carried away by this again, smoothly move your attention to the side. Don’t argue with these thoughts, don’t be upset that they come (and they will come), ignore them, treat them with complete indifference.

If you suddenly need to remind yourself of the absurdity of these thoughts, do not go beyond short formulations: “nothing will happen to me, and that’s all.” Don't get involved in an argument you will never win. All the endless arguments that again make you afraid or nervous are lies and deception.

Remember what I said in the article: if you are in a psychological state where you tend to worry about your health or your future or your loved ones, then your mind will focus on that fear, no matter how absurd that fear may be. . Don't turn your mind against yourself.

You must know the puzzle toy, which is like a tube. If you insert the index fingers of different hands into both ends of this tube and try to free them with the help of physical effort, pulling your hands in different directions, then nothing will come of it; the tube will only compress the fingers more tightly. And if you relax and don’t procrastinate, everything will work out.

The same applies to intrusive thoughts. There is no need to want to get out of them at any cost. Relax, “kill it”, let them be.

Be indifferent!

Your indifference towards intrusive thoughts will deprive intrusive thoughts of their emotional content, which fills them with such power that you sometimes cannot control. Over time, you will learn to manage your attention and notice those moments when you again begin to think about what you shouldn’t.

Then thoughts will leave you forever.

But there is no need to wait impatiently for this to happen: “when will they leave!”, “I try not to pay attention to them, but they still don’t get out of my head!” There is no need for such thoughts!

Arm yourself with saving indifference: thoughts don’t bother you – good, they’re back – that’s also normal. There is no need to turn thoughts about the appearance of obsessive thoughts into obsessive thoughts!

It's no big deal if repetitive thoughts keep coming to you. If you deprive them of their emotional “charge” and try to ignore them, then they don’t get on your nerves like they used to. In this case, they simply become an annoying notification window (the kind you might have seen on your computer) that pops up in your head from time to time.

And this is no longer so scary. You can live with this. Thoughts appear sometimes, but they no longer capture your attention or confuse you. These are just short signals in the head that appear and disappear.

When I began to treat obsessive thoughts this way, they left my head and I learned to fight them. A fighting obsessive thoughts is not fighting, if we perceive the struggle as fierce resistance. Relax!

Conclusion

I have already said in other articles that mental illnesses: panic attacks, obsessive thoughts can either break you or make you stronger (as in the statement of the famous philosopher).

Dealing with panic attacks can teach you. Working to overcome depression will help you find the source of happiness within yourself. And trying to control obsessive thoughts will teach you to manage your attention and control your mind.

Arm yourself with patience and work on yourself, then you will not only get rid of your ailments, but as a result you will also gain valuable and useful experience that will be useful in your life!

My step-by-step video course on getting rid of panic attacks and obsessive thoughts!

I collected all my experience in helping people with panic attacks and obsessive thoughts, all my knowledge about the problem and presented it in in your new 17-day video course “NO PANIC”! Over 7 hours of videos that will teach you to overcome fear and anxiety. 3 hours of audio meditations with which you can get rid of obsessive thoughts, eliminate panic and develop important mental skills of self-control and relaxation.

: If you throw it into boiling water, the frog will realize the danger and jump out of the pot. If you heat the water gradually, the frog will not jump out and will cook. The message is clear: in everyone's life there will always be people who interfere, portend troubles and harm when you are trying to become a better person, but they do it so carefully that you may not notice the danger.

Such people - let's call them “toxic” or people who poison your life - can slow down your progress for a variety of reasons. They may think that you won't stay in their life if you succeed. Perhaps they feel that their shortcomings will be more visible against your background. Or maybe they just don't accept the possibility of change.

But the root causes matter far less than the immediate impact they have on you. Their anger, resentment, manipulation or cruelty undermines your strength. At any moment, you can find yourself among toxic friends, family, and colleagues who, consciously or unconsciously, hinder your happiness and personal growth. To feel good and happy, it is important to identify similar people in your environment and learn to manage the emotions they evoke in you.

So let's discuss how to recognize toxic people and how to navigate the complex process of getting rid of such people. Your future depends on it.

How to know if someone is making your life miserable

There are people who constantly pull you back - annoying, quarrelsome, constantly demanding something, or simply repulsive. But such people cannot be called poisoners in the strict sense of the word. They are just unpleasant individuals. These are the people you want to keep a little distance from, but there is no immediate need to cut them out of your life.

There is a wide variety of people who poison life. On the one hand, there's your old school friend who won't stop talking about how little time you spend together now. On the other hand, there is an ex-girlfriend who can still manipulate you, leading to attacks. Your friend may just be annoying, but your ex is most likely making your life miserable.

Of course, you will have to decide when to just keep your distance and when to cut the person out of your life. Your sister's patience is probably much greater than that of a colleague, but sisters and colleagues are different.

Now let's talk about the real ill-wishers - those who infect and control your life. Let's list a few classic signs of people who poison life.

1. They are trying to control you. It may sound strange, but people who cannot control their own lives often seek to control yours. Their toxic influence manifests itself in attempts to control others, both openly and secretly, through sophisticated manipulation.
2. They don't respect your personal boundaries. If you constantly tell someone not to do a certain thing to you, and they continue to do so, they are probably making your life miserable. Respect for other people's boundaries is natural for a well-mannered adult. And the people who make your life miserable profit by violating boundaries.
3. They take but give nothing. The ability to take and give is the key. Sometimes you need a helping hand, sometimes your friend needs a helping hand, but you give and take in equal measure. But not with people who poison your life - they will take everything they can from you, and for as long as you last.
4. They are always right. They will always find a way to be right, even when they are not. They extremely rarely admit that they messed up, made a mistake, or expressed themselves incorrectly.
5. They are not sincere. This is not about exaggeration, saving face, or other types of white lies. We are talking about clear and repeated dishonest behavior.
6. They love the role of victim. People who make your life miserable take pleasure in playing the role of a victim against whom the whole world is opposed. They are looking for a reason to be offended, insulted, ignored, although in fact they do not feel anything like that. They like to make excuses, give seemingly reasonable explanations, or completely deny their guilt in what happened.
7. They don't take responsibility. Partially appears due to the desire to avoid responsibility. “Things are just the way they are”, “We are not like this, life is like this” - phrases illustrating the attitude of the poisoners to life.

Doesn't remind you of anyone? People who make your life miserable can go unnoticed for years. Until you stop to reflect on your experience with them.

Now let's talk about how to get rid of such people.

Why is it so important to get rid of people who make your life miserable?

It is very rare when ill-wishers completely interfere with all your attempts to change for the better, but it does happen. Basically they slow down your progress.

The main thing is, do you want a person in your life who is actively preventing you from making your life better?

The answer is, of course, no. This may be hard for you to accept, but not until you realize the impact his company is having on you.

Under the influence of a person who is poisoning your life, you may reconsider an important decision. You may be sad, feel uncomfortable, and frankly ashamed of your... You may even adopt some of the poisoner's bad qualities, such as becoming jealous of someone else's happiness. Because all toxic people have one thing in common: they want you to become like them.

Most often, we simply do not realize that someone’s behavior is poisoning our lives. If you have such a boss, then you understand how it works: his behavior makes you irritable and embittered, you lash out at your subordinates, then the employees begin to conflict more and more with each other, and then they transfer this irritation to their friends. And before you knew it, the poison had already spread.

How to get rid of people who truly poison your life

1. Accept that it may be a long goodbye. Cleaning up toxic elements is not always easy. If a person did not respect your personal boundaries before, he will not respect them now. He may come back even after you tell him to go away. You may have to say this several times before he finally leaves for good.
2. Don't feel like you have to explain anything. Any explanation you give is more likely to yourself. Say how you feel, but in a way that makes it clear that it's not up for discussion. You can do it even simpler: gently and calmly tell the person that you no longer want to see him in your life. How much or how little explanation is needed is up to you. Different relationships require different approaches.
3. Speak in a public place. It’s not surprising that people who make your life miserable can be confrontational or even cruel. Having a public conversation can greatly reduce the possibility of conflict. And if something goes wrong, you can get up and leave.
4. Block such people on social networks. Technology makes distancing more difficult, so don't leave an open window through which ill-wishers can terrorize or cajole you. You have defined your boundaries. Stick to them. This includes preventive measures, such as limiting contacts on social networks.
5. Don't argue, just establish new boundaries. It may be tempting to get into arguments and conflicts with people who are making your life miserable, but that's exactly what they want. If they try to come back, avoid the discussion. Set your boundaries firmly and then end the conversation. You are not trying to convince the person to leave you alone. This is not a negotiation. So, as they say, don't feed the troll.
6. Consider maintaining distance rather than breaking up completely. Remember, we talked about a person who can hardly be called a poison to life, but nevertheless he is unpleasant to you? You don’t need to completely cut people like this out of your life. You just need to keep your distance, dividing your time between communicating with them and your personal affairs.

Doing all of the above is not always necessary. It all depends on the specific situation. Sometimes it is enough to simply make a decision and increase the distance, especially if we are talking about friends and colleagues, this does not require a serious conversation. Remember that you don't have to explain anything to anyone. You can simply disappear slowly and quietly from a person's life so that you stop feeling its toxic effects. Relationships with such people are like a fire: stop feeding it food, and it will go out by itself.

But there is one scenario when you have to act differently. We are talking about relationships with blood relatives.

What to do if the person who is making your life miserable is a member of your family

There are no simple recipes or standard answers that will suit everyone.

Breaking off a relationship with a relative who is poisoning your life can be the most important break in your life. Family directly influences your thoughts, behavior, and choices. But relatives are not your owners simply by virtue of blood ties. Kinship is not a license to ruin your life. Remember this.

That's why increasing the distance between the person who is poisoning your life and you is the best solution, and it doesn't matter whether it's physical or emotional distance.

But in the case of relatives, you will have to make some concessions. You can distance yourself emotionally, but you must recognize that you will still have to interact with this person (for example, meeting for holiday dinners or caring for parents together). To maintain distance, you will have to learn to separate practical activities from the emotional component - you will agree to take part in this person's life when it is really necessary, but do not allow him to negatively influence you.

It is especially important to make informed decisions regarding family members. So ask yourself: What kind of return are you getting from your family members? How are they going? Can you actually completely cut off all ties with a relative who is poisoning your life? You may answer these questions and decide that you need to end the relationship permanently. Or you can adjust your behavior according to the situation. The main thing is to take time to think about what is happening and the possible consequences of a wrong decision.

Cutting a family member out of your life is not easy. But it may be the most liberating decision you ever make.

What is the most important thing about getting rid of people who are poisoning your life? This is a message to yourself. You tell yourself, “I have value.” You put your happiness above other people's problems. And if one day you realize how some people can destroy your sense of self-worth, it will become more difficult for them to penetrate your life.

If you want, but don’t know how to end relationships with annoying people, use one of these proven love magic spells!

These conspiracies¹ are read to end unnecessary relationships, get rid of harassment, pestering, nagging, claims... But are you sure of your decision?

Love magic will help to nullify unwanted advances, and at the same time you will not have to sort things out.

A spell to get rid of an annoying person

“I will walk between the gray houses along my familiar road, not noticing anyone, not greeting anyone. I don’t need anyone, especially (name). The wind will take (name) away from me. The rain will wash it out of my way. The sun will burn it.

I am on my own, and (name) is on my own. Our communication is over, our passion for each other is over.

I’ll raise my chin, straighten my shoulders, and walk past (name). I am moving towards my goal, but (name) is not noticeable. The clouds of steam from a passing car disappeared into the air, and so did my relationship with (name). Between the gray houses I walk along my familiar road, completely alone. And I like it. Khantaa ular."

A conspiracy to end a relationship

“I’ll make myself a boat from dreams. I will sail on this boat from (name). He will never find me. Get lost in your roads. I will go to the right, and (name) to the left. I will go to the left, and (name) to the right.

We have different paths, different goals. We have different thoughts, different desires.

Stopping (name) from meeting me. I forbid him to see me. I conjure him with a terrible spell against nagging and claims against me. Freeing myself from the burden of fate (name). We have nothing in common and never will. They take us away from each other. My sleep is sound and manageable. Khantaa ular."

When pronouncing the words “Khantaa ular”, which means: “Thank you, this is my will, so be it,” you need to cup your hands in front of your chest and make a slight bow.

Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material

¹ Conspiracy - “small” folklore texts that serve as a magical means of achieving what is desired in healing, protective, productive and other rituals (

Surely every girl at least once in her life has encountered an annoying admirer who literally attacks her everywhere. Constant courtship, calls, meaningless conversations - all this unsettles and irritates. Only in rare cases does such an outcome of events end in mutual love. In reality, the guy is suffering from unrequited feelings, and the lady is racking her brains on how to get rid of her arrogant boyfriend. There are effective ways to “eliminate” such gentlemen; let’s consider the important aspects in order.

Method No. 1. New hobby

A friend or acquaintance who has long dreamed of a prince on a white horse will help you get rid of the attention of an annoying boyfriend. Don’t tell your friend about the details of your communication with your boyfriend, let her form her own opinion. The recommendation is especially relevant in cases where a “worthy match” is courting you, but for certain reasons the man is not suitable for you.

Organizing an acquaintance will not be difficult, the main thing is that the situation does not look feigned. Arrange with a friend to meet in a cafe, invite a fan to join you. Think about topics for conversation in advance; if possible, choose a friend whose interests are most similar to the guy’s hobbies. Such a move will bring kindred spirits closer together, and you will be able to retreat into the background.

Method number 2. Rejection of life values

The method is extremely effective in cases where it is not possible to avoid the fan everywhere. For example, a colleague suddenly burst into flames with unbridled passion. Don’t change your job because of this, be smarter. The effective “separator” of a woman and a man is considered to be a complete misunderstanding in everything, that is, rejection of the interests of the companion, his life principles, morality, etc.

Play the main one. Is this not the first time you have noticed that a fan treats his mother with trepidation? Bring this fact into public view by stating that excessive attachment of an adult to parents is a consequence of immaturity. Does a man constantly say that he should be the head of the family? Tell an interesting story about how you crushed your ex-husband under your thumb, and then lived happily, ... but not for long.

Method No. 3. Whims

If a man is not madly in love with you, but only pursues you out of incomprehensible sympathy, become a capricious lady. Constantly show your gentleman that he is not doing anything for you. Ask to take your lady to the sea; if possible, choose the most expensive resorts. If your wishes are not fulfilled right away, throw an even bigger tantrum, cry, be unbearable.

If a man does not have enough money for glamorous branded clothing, expensive perfume or travel packages, reproach him for this. Tell him that he is untenable and does not suit your status. Cruel but effective. In such a situation, the guy will feel weak, which in itself will push him away.

Method number 4. Constant failures

Constant refusals for one reason or another will help to ward off an unwanted admirer. You don’t need to be kind and flexible, learn to say “No!” and at the same time feel comfortable. From time immemorial, a well-mannered girl has been in great demand among men, but, as a rule, they take advantage of her kindness.

From the first time you meet, let your man understand that he doesn’t mean anything to you, don’t hide under the guise of politeness. At the same time, it is not necessary to be rude or rude; it is enough to correctly explain that you are not interested in such courtship. If the admirer represents a person who is dear to you, tone down painful expressions.

Method No. 5. MARRIAGE REGISTRY

More effective methods, for example, the registry office, will help you get rid of unnecessary attention. During your next hangout, tell your partner that you cannot live without him. Let them know that you want to have two or three children and have a grand wedding. Make it clear that you want to get married immediately.

Convince your boyfriend that you have a good friend who is also an employee of the registry office. Tell her that she will sign you up in the next 3-5 days, after which you will become a full-fledged married couple. You should not exclude the option of agreeing to your imaginary wedding. Think about the option of refusal in advance in case he “gives the go-ahead”.

Method number 6. Legend

Invent a legend that will be an excellent help in getting rid of an unwanted admirer. Tell your boyfriend that you have a fiance who lives in another city or is away on a business trip. Let them know that the wedding will take place soon, make it clear that you have already found boundless happiness. It would be useful to talk about a joint future that was planned many years ago.

The main thing is to be sincere. If the situation occurs at work, share with other employees the delicious recipes that your “mother-in-law” gave you. Make sure that such happy speeches reach the ears of the annoying gentleman. Talk about the wonderful vacation you recently went on with your “lover”, give yourself bouquets to create the illusion of having a life partner.

Method No. 7. Criticism

Criticize your companion, hurt your pride in every possible way. Has he announced a promotion? Smirk and make it clear that this is a small achievement. Does a fan start bragging about having a great time at a fancy restaurant or with friends? Report your more successful vacation, which will take place almost every weekend.

At this stage, it is important to show that the fan's opinion means nothing to you. Neglect it, be capricious, argue even over insignificant matters. When you become unbearable, he will leave on his own. However, in such situations you should be afraid of gossip.

Method No. 8. Bad habits

If a fan sees you as a good-natured princess, develop positive impressions. Become a friend with bad habits for your boyfriend. Swear, drink beer or smoke in front of him (if you have such a habit). Constantly tell funny, but at the same time vulgar, typically male stories.

Don't be shy about being a "brother" to your fan, don't act like a girl. No man would want to tie the knot with such a girl. Believe me, the gentleman will quickly retreat if you make every effort.

Method number 9. Excessive emotions

Men love well-mannered women who speak quietly, do not squeal, and do not overuse squeaky notes in conversation. Become the complete opposite of the female standard, express your emotions to the fullest. Laugh loudly in public places, throw tantrums for any reason, discuss his friends too emotionally.

Disgusting weather or a bad hairstyle is a great reason to fray the nerves of an unwanted admirer. Do not deny yourself anything, men are afraid of overly emotional ladies.

It is not difficult to get rid of the attention of an unwanted gentleman if you have sufficient knowledge regarding effective methods. Act like a capricious lady, express your emotions loudly and openly, criticize your companion. Get into bad habits for a while, take your fan to the registry office, come up with a legend.

Video: how to get rid of an obsessive stalker

In everyone’s life, they have met different types of people in behavior, communication and worldview. As they say, people are all different. There are cheerful, easy-going people, and there are also obsessive people. This is a category whose communication and presence is extremely difficult to get rid of, but possible. So, let's look at the options on how to get rid of an obsessive person. How do such people behave?

How do obsessive people behave?

These “stuck” ones are really very easy to identify. Obsessive people extremely love to attract all the attention of the audience and society to themselves. And most often they do this by inserting themselves into the conversation, increasing intonation during conversation, and shifting the topic of conversation to their person. If we’re not talking about a conversation with an obsessive person, but about his presence in your life, then everything is completely neglected here! Intrusive people like to come when they were not invited, and the most interesting thing is that it is very difficult to send them out the door, since they absolutely do not understand hints, and even if you tell them directly that you are tired of their company, they can easily stay on as a guest .

As for the intrusiveness of a young man or girlfriend, their behavior includes excessively frequent calls, long meaningless conversations, unexpected visits that last until late, obsessiveness in advice and tastes, excessive presence in personal space.

You need to find a special approach to this type of person in order to clearly convey to him about his excessive presence and intrusive behavior, since obsessive people understand hints very poorly.

How to tactfully hint to a person about his obsession?

First, you need to subtly hint in a conversation that the interlocutor is crossing certain boundaries and becoming obsessive in his interests and views on the world. This can be done this way:

• You can smoothly change the topic of conversation and do this every time the intrusive interlocutor begins to manifest himself.
• Turn your attention to something interesting that is in your field of vision and try to have a conversation about it or switch the conversation to some general topic where there is no opportunity to express a personal opinion or advice.

If during a conversation it is not possible to verbally hint at the interlocutor’s intrusiveness, then you can take measures to tactfully make it clear that the person is intrusive.

You shouldn’t immediately behave like a boor and say that the person is tired or tired of you with your long presence.

You can first try the following methods:

• Immediately indicate the time of your or his departure (for example, “I have a sleep schedule at 9, since I get up very early,” or “I have a meeting scheduled for 9, so we will leave an hour before it so that I have time to prepare” ). Some time before leaving, you need to remind that you will soon have to leave. You can resort to the trick of ringing a mobile phone and saying that you urgently need to leave.
• There should always be a supply of polite excuses available in case you need to “allegedly” suddenly leave on business.
• You can resort to a trick when another person approaches and, with slight amusement, under the pretext that help is urgently needed or a meeting has been scheduled, takes the obsessive person away from the company. True, it doesn’t always work out this way.
• If the hint about his intrusiveness does not reach the person, tell him politely and apologetically (“I’m sorry, but I need to leave, we were chatting, but it’s time...”).

How to tactfully hint that he is intrusive?

Some young people in relationships go too far with their frequent presence in their partner’s personal space. And such a moment should also not be missed or tolerated, because this can later affect the relationship and lead to its destruction.

The party that is bothered by the intrusiveness of the other half in some aspects (violation of personal space, frequent calls, SMS and control, imposition of one’s tastes and behavior) needs to, in a calm atmosphere and in a calm tone, start a conversation from afar about tastes and desires and reduce it to the fact that Everyone should have their own personal space, trust and some free time, but excessive presence and control are disturbing and alarming.

If the other half did not draw the necessary conclusions from this conversation, then you can start a similar repeated conversation and play it out so that the obsessive young man or girl takes the place of the one who is being bothered by this obsession (switch roles). In any case, calm conversations indicating that obsession is interfering with showing exactly how will help to correct something in the behavior of the annoying person.

How to tactfully get rid of an obsessive girlfriend?

If you have an obsessive girlfriend, then the situation is not easy. Usually, such girls have difficulty understanding hints of their obsession and it is difficult to convey this to them. But there are still effective methods!

• Switch your attention to another person who may be interested in your obsessive friend.
• Start introducing yourself as intrusively as she does, while choosing precisely those moments when she is absolutely uncomfortable and has no time to host you or stand and chat. After several times of this behavior, she will begin to avoid your company, thereby getting rid of her obsession, without even suspecting it.
• In conversations where an intrusive friend is overly actively trying to intrude into her personal life with her questions and advice, you need to ignore or avoid an answer or question a couple of times. By appearing like a “deaf fool,” you can make it clear that you do not want to answer questions or tell such personal things.
• If the hints are not understood, start questioning and advising as actively as she does. Call and write and ask all the time about moments that she would not like to talk about (but for this you need to observe and study her a little in order to identify topics that are not very pleasant for her).
• It’s calm and straightforward to say that a friend is prying too much into her personal life (but this is an extreme case, when a person’s obsessive behavior goes beyond all limits of patience, as it can lead to resentment and quarrel).

How to get rid of very intrusive people

There are also such “instances”. In cases where there are very obsessive people in society and their behavior affects health and the nervous system, you need to get rid of them abruptly and completely. Just stop all communication with them, avoid their company. After all, people who are too intrusive do not understand either hints or direct words; only a drastic action will reach them, namely the termination of the relationship.

How to break up a relationship with an obsessive person more gently?

Before you stop communicating with an obsessive friend, of course, you can try to convey to him why, what exactly and how influenced the gap in communication. Let the obsessive friend feel at least a little bit like you are in your shoes. But most likely it will be a waste of time.

Be sure to recommend him a new friend who has at least a little patience for communicating with an obsessive person.

What to do if you can’t gently break off a relationship with a very obsessive person?

If the above methods were not understood by the person, then you need to start ignoring him, not answering phone calls and SMS, not opening the door to the house, or directly saying that you are tired, bored or in a hurry.

You can get rid of an overly intrusive person more quickly only by saying sharply and directly that his communication is tiring and he is being intrusive. They cannot understand any other approach, because they are too intrusive, so they need to be removed from your society.

Bottom line

How to get rid of obsessive people?

1. If a person is not very intrusive, this can be done with the help of a hint in a conversation about his behavior.
2. If a person does not understand the hint, start behaving like him (calling and coming without an invitation and staying at a party for a long time, boring you with your conversation, even if the interlocutor cannot and does not want to start a conversation). As they say, wedge with wedge!
3. With a very obsessive person, all of the above methods are powerless, so you need to get rid of such people abruptly and completely (not answer the phone, don’t open the door, or directly say that his company is tiring).

More effective options will be where you and an annoying, intrusive friend change places and pester him the same way he pesters you. Then the obsessive person takes the place of the one he is annoying, and gradually begins to understand that his behavior is obsessive.

Before you start abruptly getting rid of the company of such a person, you first need to study him a little, so as not to offend him too much, but at the same time make it clear that he is tired of you and has already driven you to extreme measures!

But, unfortunately, there are obsessive people who don’t understand this either. Such people need to be told the “truth” straight to their faces. But first make sure that this does not harm your or his health! After all, it may be that an obsessive person who has been told directly about his excessive importunity becomes offended, and, since he is morally weak, he begins to harm himself or, conversely, gets angry and pesters the offender even more!

Well, it’s even better, as soon as it becomes clear that a person is annoying, immediately distance him from your person, even in the early stages of communication!