The consequences of long-term drinking bouts - real stories from the lives of alcoholics. Stories from life Alcoholism stories from life

Edgar Degas "Absinthe". Photo from liveinternet.ru

Several question marks in a row

They came to the group that I led at the temple. Always alone, timidly and quietly. Averting his eyes and hiding his mouth with his palm. As a rule, it is difficult to endure a single day of sobriety. Funny and awkward: too much paint, too little taste, and during their absence from the world of people, fashion has managed to run ahead
Their first question is, are there any other women drinking here? Or maybe everyone goes to a sobriety group solely for the sake of their drinking husbands? After all, this is what usually happens: the husband drinks, the wife restrains herself as best she can, prays, cries, swears. After all, this is how we, women, are supposed to be: to be keepers of the hearth and comfort, an example for children, assistants to our spouses, beauties, smart girls, housewives.
I know a lot of women who quit drinking
Not everyone succeeds. Some turn into real monsters and cuckoo alone in their hopeless swamp. Tell me, do people like this come here or will I be alone? Then I'll leave right away. After all, for normal women I am an enemy, I am a scarecrow, we are on opposite sides of the barricades. “They go,” you answer, “of course they do.” They just, like you, are hiding, they don’t want anyone to guess. —
Is there any point in coming here? - sounds the main question. – After all, female alcoholism, everyone knows, is incurable.

Creature on thin legs

Photo from videoblocks.com
Alcoholic. For some reason, adherents of political correctness turn a blind eye to this word. Perhaps for pedagogical reasons? You don’t need to spare someone like this, but you need to seal it more painfully, so that it’s disgraceful. When the press describes addicted women, there will certainly be thin blue legs, slitted eyes, puffy purple cheeks, missing teeth and a hellish smell from the womb. And very often – the word “creature”.
The neuter gender is intended to emphasize: the alcoholic betrayed her main purpose - motherhood. A woman is not supposed to drink; by such behavior she breaks out of her social role, violating an age-old taboo. Partly because of this, female alcoholism is so demonized in the public consciousness, giving rise to anti-scientific myths, terrible caricatures and sinister archetypes.
In reality, women suffering from alcoholism, as a rule, look quite decent. And when, coming to the group, the new girl with whom we started the story begins to take a closer look, even for her it is not easy to identify among those present her companions in misfortune. Women tend to hide - and quite skillfully - their drunkenness. The fair sex manages to remain beautiful for a long time in any circumstances. He is cunning, inventive, often has acting skills, and at his service is makeup and the latest achievements in cosmetology.
In women, by the way, binge drinking occurs almost four times more often than in men (82% versus 22%). Can't be?! Statistics do not lie, but at the same time they provide further evidence of the sophisticated secrecy of the drinking fairer sex.
If you are a man and want to have the first or second stage of alcoholism, you will have to drink heavily and every day for at least six months, and if you are a woman, then only three months
The secret usually becomes apparent when the problem has gone too far, and the results are obvious (in person). And this is actually an unsightly sight. However, objectively, alcoholism does not have a more detrimental effect on a woman’s appearance than on a man’s, but our appearance is simply given more importance. And, say, wrinkled clothes or unkempt hair, which men get away with, are unforgivable for a woman.

Ethanol and the weaker sex

Photo from huffingtonpost.com

Female alcoholism, indeed, cannot be cured. Like any other - that is, male. Strictly speaking, the very concept of “female alcoholism” does not exist. There is one disease - alcoholism, a chronic disease in which only remission can be achieved, but never a complete cure. Having become dependent, a person remains so until his death - regardless of gender. Which in no way means that he/she cannot stop drinking. Just having “untied”, he will inevitably return to “his own vomit” like an evangelical dog, he will never learn to drink “like everyone else” - civilly, without hangovers and binges.

Another thing is that the development and course of the disease in the weaker sex has a number of features, and when describing addiction in women, authors (medics, sociologists, writers and journalists) inevitably compare it with “normal”, that is, with male alcoholism.

Women - almost like the indigenous peoples of the North - have reduced activity of the gastric enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down ethanol.

Alcoholism develops faster in women and is more difficult. If you are a man and want to have the first or second stage, you will have to drink heavily and every day for at least six months, and if a woman, then only three months. (The fact that not every daily drinker becomes an alcoholic is another matter). Finally (third stage), women become drunkards after seven years of regular drinking, and men after 15.

Why is this happening? The fact is that it is much easier for ethanol to poison the body of the weaker sex (it’s not for nothing that they call us that). Firstly, when a woman tries to drink on an equal basis with men, the concentration of alcohol in her blood turns out to be much higher - due to the fact that there is less water in the female body. Secondly, women - almost like the indigenous peoples of the North - have reduced activity of the gastric enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down ethanol. Thirdly, alcohol is absorbed faster in us - due to hormonal characteristics. Therefore, it is very dangerous to drink during PMS and menopause, when you are so sad and want to cry.

We wash down the sadness and melancholy, we drown in shame

For a woman, alcohol is, first of all, an antidepressant and a tranquilizer. Ask a male alcoholic why he drinks - and he will tell you a whole story, list the advantages, talk about the male drunken fraternity, and rationally explain the impossibility of stopping. And the woman will most likely be laconic: “It’s sickening to live.” We burn with ethanol boredom, sadness, melancholy, personal happiness that never happened, and shame.

The drunkard from " The Little Prince"Saint-Exupéry was most likely a woman. Remember: “Why do you drink?” - “Because I’m ashamed” - “Why ashamed?” - “I’m ashamed to drink” - “Then why are you drinking”... Etc. (example quote).

One of my friends called the jars of cocktail drink that she took daily “anesthetic”

It's a shame, really. A drunk woman can make a mess. She degrades faster than a man. Scientists have even calculated that moral decline in women develops 3-5 times faster. The numbers, of course, raise a lot of questions: the criteria for this fall, the units of speed and depth, are unclear.

After all, one and the same act can be condemned with different degrees of force, depending on the gender of the person who committed it. This, of course, is correct: no one has canceled maiden honor, female pride, decency and, most importantly, the commandments. True, the last two categories have no gender. But forgiveness and leniency are also universal things. Especially when we are talking about a sick person (and therefore a suffering person). But not about the alcoholic.

Even pity for her is fleeting and mixed with disgust: “serve it right.” And this makes life even more unbearable. The exit is known. One of my friends called the jars of cocktail drink that she took daily “anesthetic.” A vicious circle, like on that tiny planet where the Drunkard from The Little Prince lived.

But there is also good news. Different parts of the brain are not equally affected by ethanol. And if disturbances in the emotional sphere (mainly depression) occur more often in women than in men, then our memory and intelligence suffer much less and more slowly. The cortex of our brains is stronger or something... And if so, not all is lost.

Don't believe the myths!

The fact that female alcoholism is incurable is not just a myth. This is a harmful myth. He further degrades the image of a drinking woman - she is no longer human. And even if she didn’t have time to degrade completely, then there is only one way, there, to the bottom. This myth deprives a woman of hope, because everyone knows that she will never be able to quit. That’s why they often abandon her. Throwing strong men, confident that they can’t help, and they need to take care of themselves.

Quitting drinking makes a woman more reliable than a man

I know a lot of women who quit drinking. Someone got married, someone changed their profession, many received an education, the vast majority began to go to church (baptized, got married), and gave birth to children. Some started leading sobriety groups themselves. Others, younger ones, went traveling, rode a motorcycle, cut through the waves with a surfboard, wrote books - did everything to make up for the almost lost life, which suddenly became colorful again.

I also know a fair number of alcoholic families where only the wife stopped drinking and stayed next to her drinking husband in the hope of saving him too.

Yes, by quitting drinking, a woman becomes more reliable than a man. It’s not scary to go on reconnaissance with her. Perhaps the reason was the shame she had to go through. The “vomit” that you don’t want to go back to is much uglier. Horror - more terrible. And if a man in remission, relishing relishing his drunken exploits and telling funny stories about them, is a fairly common phenomenon, then women, as a rule, avoid anything that might remind him of past life. They were too ashamed, too painful, too not themselves then.

Miracle of miracles

And another mirror. One of the most amazing and beautiful things I have ever seen in my life is a woman quitting drinking. First, some kind of bow appears on her, a white collar, or simply her clothes recall the existence of an iron, and her hairstyle recalls the existence of scissors.

The next stage is not very pretty. However, plastic surgeons’ patients also look terrifying immediately after the procedures. Gradually, and then somehow all at once, the swelling subsides, the skin sags, wrinkles appear - our princess slowly throws off her frog skin. But the look is already brightening, determination and faith appear in it. If we talk about the recovery phases, this is the most difficult stage. Now she is tormented by insomnia, remorse, depression, fatigue, and now it is very difficult for her. Transformations only happen quickly in fairy tales.

Men break down more often at this time. They silently and gloomily go on a binge. Women scream: “I can’t!” - and continue to fight. One good friend of mine, an older woman, simply grabbed books from the shelves and read, read everything, at first indiscriminately, then turned to Russian classics.

“After all, I was once completely different,” she said. “I read a lot, I went to the theater and exhibitions.” She spoke and did not notice that she had already become different again. And the frog's skin went to the fire, and no one could tell by her face what hobby she had recently indulged in instead of reading. A wonderful transformation. And now newcomers, coming to the group, look askance with disbelief: has N really ever drank?!

I describe this incident in detail only because that miracle was the first that happened before my eyes, and after that I was already waiting to see it again. And she was happy every time a new future princess came to the group. Alcoholic. Timid and lonely, still believing in myths, but not in fairy tales.

The first time I tried alcohol was when I was 13. I think it was beer. My classmate and I bought two bottles with our pocket money and drank them right on the embankment. We were very exhausted in the sun, and we barely made it home (we didn’t have a few rubles left for the tram). I can’t say that I liked this experience, but I was left with a feeling of my own adulthood and coolness: this is what I am, buying beer for myself.

Until graduation, my experiments with alcohol remained at about the same level: I drank in company because it was cool. We mostly took ready-made cocktails in bottles, which were terribly harmful to the stomach. But who thinks about this at 14-15 years old? Sometimes vodka, but “purely symbolically”, one bottle for every seven people. We drank on a bench in front of the nightclub to save on drinks inside.

After school, I went to university and moved from my parents to another city. For the first three years I lived in a student dormitory. Everyone drank there all the time. There was no need for a reason, as long as there was money. Most often they took vodka. Mixed it with cola for better effect. By the way, I usually started romantic relationships only after a couple of cocktails. It was difficult for me to flirt when I was sober, but alcohol brought me out of my shell and made me the life of the party. It’s not very pleasant to remember this, but my first sex also happened while I was drunk. To be honest, I would hardly have looked at that guy if I hadn’t been under the influence.

Then there was another young man. And he, too, quickly figured out my secret - he came on a date with my favorite wine in a thermos and jokingly called me “Miss Cabernet.”

After university, I went for an internship in another country. Adult life has begun, full of stress and problems. I lived alone. After work, I went to the supermarket, bought something that I could whip up, and always grabbed a bottle of wine. I just wanted to relax and feel light and carefree for a moment. Alcohol helped, but I consistently drank a bottle several times a week. Alone .

Yes, in the mornings I sometimes felt ashamed of some message, dictated by a relaxed mind, which I managed to publish on in social networks, or for an SMS to a male colleague - of course, not of the most business content. But the real reason that made me realize that I had problems with alcohol was my appearance. Unfortunately, my “hobby” did not pass without a trace: bags under my eyes and a swollen face became increasingly difficult to hide under a layer of makeup. And chronic fatigue could no longer be ignored.

I decided to gather my will and stop drinking, but it turned out that it was not so easy to do. Every evening there was a painful desire to pour at least a glass into myself. If I didn’t hold back, it wasn’t limited to just one glass. Once I managed to last two weeks without alcohol, and I proudly told a close friend about this, to which he raised his eyebrows in surprise: “Two weeks? Yes, you have an addiction. You don’t count how many days you haven’t drunk milk.” Probably, only after his words did I for the first time seriously think about what was happening to me. The bottom line is that I have been drinking almost every day for the past five years, and without alcohol I become angry and irritable. Moreover, I was no angel with alcohol either: according to friends, it was impossible to communicate with me normally, after a few glasses I would get furious if they didn’t want to drink with me, and demanded that the banquet be continued.

I started looking on the Internet for signs of addiction, and according to all the tests it turned out that I was almost a complete alcoholic. I categorically disagreed with this, after all, I good job, a successful social life, and alcoholics are those who drink continuously all day long and then fall asleep under a bench.

I convinced myself that in my case we were talking about genetic intolerance to alcohol: others drink the same amount, it’s just that for me, strong drinks provoke memory lapses and an inability to stop in time. No wonder: many people with addiction engage in such self-deception.

Soon I began to have serious health problems: my stomach hurt almost every day. I attributed it to stress and poor nutrition, went for an examination, and was diagnosed with gastritis. In addition, they said that the liver was slightly enlarged. I was prescribed a diet, and alcohol was banned. This was the first time I was able to go without alcohol for two whole months.

True, I was constantly tormented by the desire to drink and relax, it seemed that I would soon explode from tension. I became especially irritable and angry. The same friend, seeing my suffering, offered to go to the gym with him to release negative energy. I agreed. After training it actually became a little easier.

After a course of treatment for gastritis, I decided that it was better for me to forget about alcohol. In addition, I had a new young man who was a supporter of a healthy lifestyle and had no idea about my problems. I clearly realized that even after just one glass I lose self-control and get drunk to the point of passing out.

For the entire eight months that we dated, I didn’t take a drop into my mouth. But, unfortunately, after our breakup, she relapsed again and continued to get drunk alone in the kitchen. Only this time I already saw what this lifestyle was doing to me: terrible appearance, fatigue, feeling overwhelmed. I didn’t want to go to a narcologist: I was ashamed.

I pulled myself together again and gave up drinking completely. The hardest thing is to hold on for the first few weeks, then it becomes easier, and you even feel proud of yourself. Now I have been sober for almost two years with varying degrees of success. The hardest thing is to lead a social life. At work, I often have to attend events where it is customary to have a glass or two, and here I have to be firm and refuse offers of a drink. Honestly, it's difficult. Most people react to refusal with surprise: “How? Are you really not going to do it at all?” Usually you want to answer them obscenely. I probably have reasons for this, which I am not obliged to report to everyone I meet.

They say that there are no former alcoholics, so I understand that my addiction may return. But I hope that over time it will become increasingly easier for me to resist temptation.

Recorded: Tatiana Nikitina

The stories of four residents of Yekaterinburg, who at different ages eliminated alcohol from their lives, why they did it, how others perceived it and what changed in their lives after completely giving up alcohol...

“Alcohol takes away several things that are never enough: money, energy, time and health.”

Today, alcohol is a traditional component of life, which accompanies both joy and sadness. For some, a glass of wine with dinner and a couple of cocktails on Friday evening are considered ordinary - it seems that a small amount of alcohol will do nothing but pleasantly relax. But in August 2018, UN experts concluded that Even the smallest amounts of alcohol cause serious damage to health and markedly increase the likelihood of premature death from heart disease, cancer and accidents. In total, alcohol claims the lives of three million people on the planet and 82 thousand Russians every year. In February, the Ministry of Health announced how many deaths of able-bodied men were related to alcohol - about 70%.

The Village talked to four residents of Yekaterinburg who, at different ages, cut alcohol out of their lives - about why they did it, how their decision was perceived by others, and what changed after.

Dmitry Kolezev

journalist, chief editor, 34 years old

HAVEN'T DRINKED FOR 2 YEARS

When I was a child, I constantly saw adults around me drinking. It was probably then that I began to associate alcohol with adulthood and “coolness.” I dreamed that I would grow up and swallow alcohol with an indifferent face without even wincing. When I was seven, adults gave me a beer to try.

The first time I got drunk was in the seventh grade - together with my friends we drank disgusting burnt vodka " Ladies whim"from the stall. Everyone was vomiting. When we got older, we started drinking beer. After school, we often sat down to have a drink in some cafe or courtyard - for most of our peers this was the norm: rather, it seemed strange to us if a person did not do this. When we drank beer instead of studying, we felt that we were doing something forbidden - the secret united us even more.

During my student years, I often got drunk at parties with everyone else, but gradually my interest in alcohol began to disappear. During my student years, alcoholism peaked in my life - we often hung out in the hostel, drank beer on the street or cocktails in bars. Cocktails are generally one of the most insidious types of alcoholic drinks; they contain a lot of sweet soda and syrups that drown out the taste of alcohol. The body is designed in such a way that when you drink pure alcohol, it tells you: “Dude, this is not for you, you shouldn’t drink this,” so when you first try alcohol, you feel sick. But when alcohol is mixed with something sweet, the taste of the alcohol is masked and the body does not react to it in time.

Society does not particularly blame a person who gets drunk, falls asleep under a tree and does not come home - this only causes good smiles. A person who does the same thing while on heroin will evoke completely different emotions - to us it will seem like a human tragedy. But is the difference really that big?

Two years ago I decided to try to live without alcohol at all, but I didn’t make any commitments to myself: I knew that if I forbid myself something, it wouldn’t work. I’ve had moments before when I woke up with a hangover and thought: that’s it, I’ll never drink again. Naturally, after some time I drank somewhere again, but I almost always felt an internal conflict about this. In the end, I realized that in fact I just don’t like drinking alcohol and decided to stop doing it.

For the first six months after giving up, I had to regularly explain to people why I didn’t drink. People thought that if they tried to persuade me better, I would break down and agree. But if you really have no desire to drink, then no amount of persuasion will help. Many times I found myself in situations where, it would seem, according to all the rules, I could not help but drink - for example, at a Georgian feast. But I just told people that I don't drink - and when people see that you're not being flirtatious, but that you're telling the truth, they shrug and say, “Well, okay.” Even Georgians.

Alcohol takes away several things that are always in short supply: money, energy, time and health. I feel better after quitting - I'm 34 now, but I feel better than I did when I was 25 and drinking regularly. I don’t know exactly how much I started saving - perhaps up to several tens of thousands of rubles a month.

At one time I was greatly influenced by Allen Carr's book " The easy way stop drinking." I read it while still studying at the university - I came across the book during New Year's parties, after one of which I went to the supermarket for mineral water. This little text changed my relationship with alcohol - from then on, when I drank, I never felt like I was doing anything right again. The belief has formed that even a small amount of alcohol is not normal.

I realized that alcohol is a thing largely imposed on us by society, culture and habits. The book debunks the myth that alcohol is normal. Carr says that when we drink alcohol, we are deceived. People perceive alcohol as something common, permitted and approved. Our popular culture played a big role in this: in all films, books and even in some cartoons, characters spend their free time in bars. People are used to: if you’re sad, you drown your sorrows, if you’re happy, you drink with friends.

Carr describes in detail how alcohol affects the human psyche and suppresses it, how it causes addiction. When you drink, alcohol makes you thirsty - you want more beer or wine. At some point you may completely lose control of yourself.

On the Internet you can find a huge number of signs about the dangers of alcohol and other drugs, based on WHO research. Alcohol tops the list of most harmful substances- even heroin ranks second, and marijuana is in eighth. However, marijuana is prohibited and illegal, but alcohol is legal.

It seems to me that alcohol is a more dangerous and insidious thing than marijuana. How many crimes are committed under the influence alcohol intoxication, how many families are destroyed because of alcoholic beverages? I don't know anyone who would pick up an ax while under the influence of marijuana, and in the context of alcohol, this is a common story.

Society does not particularly blame a person who gets drunk, falls asleep under a tree and does not come home - this only causes good smiles. He is a cheerful alcoholic. A person who does the same thing while on heroin will evoke completely different emotions - to us it will seem like a human tragedy. But is the difference really that big?

There are different theories about why alcohol has become such an important part of human life. Most likely, this simply happened historically - states received large incomes from alcohol and were interested in its distribution. As for the people themselves, they probably just need some ways of self-destruction, releasing energy and releasing aggression. Some people drink for this.

I don’t think that society as a whole is capable of completely abandoning easy ways to break down internal barriers: several times a year, people need a holiday of orgiastic content, where they can not feel constrained by the rules, break down barriers, and take off their usual masks. People need rituals that will help them feel more rested and temporarily free themselves from psychological stress. The problem is that for most, alcohol has turned from a festive phenomenon into a routine.

Vasily Semenov

teacher, 38 years old

HAVEN'T DRINKED FOR 21 YEARS

I first tried alcohol when I was a child - I was eight years old. Then I found alcohol at home, took it into my mouth and began to gurgle. For some reason the sensations turned out to be pleasant: my mouth was warm and a little burning. Now this seems surprising - almost any adult, having felt a “bouquet” of pure alcohol in their mouth, will almost certainly say that it is disgusting.

At the age of 14, my friends and I went to the rocky outcrops near the Peregon station to celebrate the birthday of one of us. We bought port wine and a cheap herbal wine drink at the station kiosk - we drank no less than 0.7 liters per person. I wasn’t very drunk then, but my childhood friend couldn’t even stand on his feet - we had to carry him on ourselves. Later, as the most responsible person in the company, I got a kick out of his mother for coming home with hands that looked more like the paws of a frozen chicken. He studied at a music school and lost the ability to play the piano for a month.

When we drank with friends it was fun - we did it to have a laugh. There was nothing to do at school discos without vodka. Alcohol affects the processes of excitation and inhibition - people become liberated and become bolder in their expressions. For us teenagers, it was a way of socialization - it was easier for drunk people to interact with people.

Now I see how my friends enjoy good wines, and I think that I am missing something in this life - Omar Khayyam was also no fool

At first we didn’t drink often, usually on holidays. Sometimes after school we drank beer. On my sixteenth birthday, before school, I bought vodka from a kiosk at the intersection of Kuibyshev and Vostochnaya streets - I came to class with a gurgling and jingling backpack. We started preparing for a bright future during recess, in the toilet on the third floor. The guys sat with red faces and smiled, but I couldn’t bring my eyes to one point throughout the history lesson, so I had to close one eye or cover it with my hand. The teacher probably noticed this, but I had a good relationship with her, so she didn’t focus on it.

When I turned 17, I decided to give up alcohol. I even remember the exact date when I drank for the last time - September 30, 1997, I was visiting my friend, where we drank a glass of Johnnie Walker Black Label. By that time, my other friend and I began to drink really a lot - in summer time could buy a case of “Velvet” beer and slowly drink it together in the arboretum. I began to realize that I am a cheerful person even without alcohol - I’m already being bullied. Alcohol, on the contrary, slowed me down. I remember this feeling: you raise your hand, and it carries out the command with a delay, and you clearly see how your body slows down.

At first, my friends took my refusal to drink hard - the culture was such that everyone drank on holidays. They even tried to tie me up and pour alcohol directly into my mouth. Everyone around me was against me and bet on how long I would last. They offered me a lot of money or, for example, to buy the best Armenian cognac, just so that I would drink it. But my decision pleased my mother - my father and grandfather had problems with alcohol.

Sometimes I have nightmares - in my dreams I die of thirst, but there is only beer next to me. Sometimes I drink it and suffer for a long time. I tried non-alcoholic beer, but I don’t see the point in it - besides, it still contains alcohol, only in a negligible amount. At first I drank kvass, but now I try to avoid it, because then I feel straight up alcohol in it. I also don’t use medications containing alcohol. I compensate for the lack of alcohol in my life with delicious food and the gym.

Now I see how my friends enjoy good wines, and I think that I am missing something in this life - Omar Khayyam was no fool either. The friends I go on vacation with are big wine lovers and are systematically educating themselves in this direction. My wife is not against alcohol, but Lately I'm also thinking about quitting. True, at home we have a wine cabinet for forty bottles good wine. Perhaps at some point I will also begin my education in this direction, but for now it’s easier for me without alcohol.

To give myself permission to drink, I need to have more stability and confidence in my life. For many, alcohol is a way of escaping reality. Some people watch TV series, others buy beer. It seems to me that a very large part of the population of our country uses beer to drown out the hopelessness of their existence. If you work hard, have a difficult boss, a meager salary, such an escape from reality turns out to be one of the easiest ways out.

Alexey Ponomarchuk

photographer, 32 years old

HAVEN'T DRINKED FOR 14 YEARS

The first time I tried alcohol was when I was in sixth grade. I don't remember the details because I was too young. A closer acquaintance occurred a little later, when, together with the yard boys, I was running across a field of roofs of rusty garages. In order for this activity to awaken even more courage in us, we poured beer into ourselves, bought illegally at a kiosk. In those moments I felt very grown up and free. Then alcoholic cocktails had just begun to appear, and many boys from my yard enthusiastically drank sweet poison on the children's verandas of kindergartens, but I did not appreciate the new trend and preferred the good old beer with a cigarette.

At the age of 17, I realized that it was time to quit smoking. I started smoking when I was ten years old. I didn’t like cigarettes - rather, it was a tribute to the courtyard party. To give up smoking, I had to stop drinking alcohol - alcohol and cigarettes were inextricably linked for me. To my surprise, the process happened quickly and painlessly, and since then alcohol has not been present in my body at all.

At first, those around me couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea that fun was possible without any substances. For me, their surprise is incomprehensible: I was fine

At the age of 18, parties and nightclubs burst into my life, but at them I felt as comfortable as possible without alcohol or other stimulants. I didn’t even realize that the people dancing around me were drunk until they lost their pulse. At that time, a different atmosphere reigned in the clubs - new acquaintances, music and places inspired me much more than the drunken stupor of club lizards. Although, perhaps it’s nostalgia speaking in me. There was no money for a taxi, I had to party until the morning and go home on the first tram, which made those partying doubt the sobriety of my mind.

At first, those around me couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea that fun was possible without any substances. For me, their surprise is incomprehensible: I was fine. With the advent of “Crowdedness” in my life, parties became even more meaningful. Later, being in clubs became directly related to my professional activity, for which I needed to be in a sober mind.

I really like the state of sobriety - complete control over my body and mind. Now alcohol seems to me something artificial and foreign to me. human body and quite meaningless for both the mind and the soul.

Anna Kiryanova

creator of a clothing brand, 29 years old

HAVEN'T DRINKED FOR 2 YEARS

To be honest, I don’t remember that very first sip, but it happened long before “legally possible.” I remember two fairly standard episodes. The first is gin behind the garages, a jar for three or four. I don’t remember the taste - it was probably terrible, but I remember the head of a lion on the tin.

The second episode is festive. Parents, friends, children, apartment. The parents went for a smoke break, and the children quenched their curiosity with drops from the bottom of their glasses. Drinking was fun and funny. Alcohol was banned and this made it even more interesting. It seemed like this was the adult world in all its glory, because all adults do this.

Between the ages of 18 and 21, I studied at university, and alcohol became more involved in my life. I drank something at least once or twice a week. This was the peak of parties and get-togethers, where a hand without a glass absolutely did not fit into the surroundings. It became awkward and empty in clubs, and lonely in companies.

After I gave up alcohol, the format of communicating with people changed. I became decidedly bored meeting people who were not close to me in spirit and of little interest.

I can’t say that there were many glasses in my life later, if you don’t take the university period. In October 2016, I found out that I would become a mother - I needed to feed the child, so I gave up alcohol completely. Later, an illness came, the treatment of which was incompatible with alcohol. Alcohol was contraindicated for me, but it was not only that - I didn’t want to drink anymore.

At the time of giving up alcohol, my decision was logical for those around me, but later questions began to arise. “You don’t feed anymore, why don’t you drink? Are you sick or something? Such conclusions seemed unpleasant to me - I realized that most people are not ready to accept an alcohol-free existence as the norm healthy life. I was too lazy to explain to them why I felt good in undistorted reality.

After I gave up alcohol, the format of communicating with people changed. I became decidedly bored meeting people who were not close to me in spirit and of little interest. Previously, all the unevenness of perception could be smoothed out by a glass, but now time has become more valuable to me. There is one more fun fact: When I am in pleasant company in circumstances that involve alcohol, my brain seems to become a little foggy. A feeling of fluidity of time is created, which quickly passes.

For me, giving up alcohol is a natural event in life. I didn’t break myself over my knee, didn’t tie myself to a radiator, didn’t put plasters on. The desire to drink sometimes arises, but, as practice has shown, three sips of non-alcoholic beer relieves it instantly. This story is more about taste sensations.

I know firsthand about the problem of female alcoholism. My mother was an alcoholic. In her youth, she and her father liked to drink a little beer after work or on days off, like most people. Then the amount of alcohol gradually increased, especially on holidays. After my mother gave birth to me, she was 29 years old at the time, she went to work (I was 4 months old) and ended up in a women’s group, where they often drank alcohol. She didn’t even notice how she became dependent on alcohol. She started drinking all the time, and then binge drinking.

It is impossible to convey in words what it is like to live in a family of alcoholics (later the father also began to drink heavily with his mother). While my grandfather was alive, my parents were a little afraid of him and hid, and did not drink water openly. But after his death, complete horror began. But today I don’t want to talk about it. At 48, my mother died. As far as I remember, she did not have all her teeth, she looked terrible, much older than her years, although she was quite young.

I had a friend when I was a child. After school, the connection was broken, but then when I returned home and gave birth to the child, we started communicating again. In the end, they decided to take her as godfather. We were friends after that for about a year, then we stopped, because she threw in her lot with a person who was against her communicating with our family, that is, with me and my husband. Now she comes mainly just to congratulate the child on his birthday. This was a short introduction, and now the story itself on the topic of female alcoholism.

Kuma started drinking. It’s not just drinking alcohol on holidays, but almost anyone who drinks can go on a binge. Sometimes I meet her, because she lives nearby, she always makes me smell of fumes. She became really scary. Her face is red and swollen, covered in some kind of pimples, which she doesn’t even try to fight. The hair is long, but not well-groomed, dirty, so greasy that it immediately catches your eye. The front teeth are all black. She is only 27 years old, but looks about 40 years old. My husband once saw her from afar, didn’t recognize her, says what kind of aunt she is.

She has a 4 year old child. Now her mother is mainly taking care of her daughter. The girl never leaves her grandmother's side. Both the godfather and her husband do not work anywhere; her mother provides for them, but at the same time they find money for alcohol. I feel very sorry for her child. She is so young and already an alcoholic. Simply terrible. The man himself ruined his life.

But they are constantly jealous of us because we either bought a car or did repairs. But we strive for a better life. Honestly, I probably have some kind of fear of alcohol addiction. There is no way I will allow my children to go through what I once did. Although they say there is no need to promise. At least I will try my best for this.

– this is a terrible disease, and when a woman drinks, it’s doubly worse. Many people say that female alcoholism is incurable. An old friend told me a real-life incident on this topic. Narration from her perspective.

Drunk happiness

Seven years ago, my brother's ex-wife committed suicide. Kostya got married while a student. Then Julia seemed to us a modest and well-mannered girl. A year and a half after the wedding, the young couple had a son.

And then our daughter-in-law seemed to be replaced. Julia changed beyond recognition: she argued with her husband for no reason, she started smoking and swearing. But the worst thing is that she started drinking. And when a woman drinks, it’s a lost cause.

We wanted to help Yulia get out of this swamp. But she took any attempts to talk and get her into a good clinic with hostility.

She stopped getting along with her husband and taking care of the child. From a well-mannered shy woman, she turned into an evil fury. Constantine became gloomier and gloomier every day. The nephew began to turn from an active, cheerful child into a downtrodden and unsociable animal.

Parents remained neutral for a long time: interfering in the affairs of a young family is “adding fuel to the fire.” But they couldn’t turn a blind eye to everything that was going on in their son’s family. At first my father said: “Don’t touch them! Kostya is not small, he will deal with his wife himself!”

But looking at my unfortunate grandson became more and more painful every day. The grandmother had more than once noticed bruises and abrasions all over her grandson’s body. And this has already crossed all boundaries! When asked what happened, he answered: “I just hit myself.”

The parents no longer had the strength to look at all this. They presented the young people with a fact: “Live as you want, and we will take our grandson with us!” Since then, Roman began to live in our house, because in a series of constant scandals, the young people had no time for him.

After a year of regular hassle from his wife, Konstantin finally decided to divorce. Shortly before this, Yulia was fired from work for systematic absenteeism and heavy drinking. Now nothing stopped her from whileing away her time in the company of the “green serpent.” Sometimes she went on a spree and did not appear at home for several days.

Divorce

Then there was a divorce proceeding and a court decision, according to which Roman was left with his father. And his now ex-wife was deprived of maternal rights.

About once every six months, the grief-stricken mother still remembered that she had a son. A dejected woman with a swollen face from endless drinking and a black eye under her eye came to visit.

Nobody forbade Roma to communicate with her. A drinking woman, but still a mother. One day, neighbor Katya, who was friends with Yulia, broke the news. Julia, no matter what, is going to pick up Romka and take him to his mother in a neighboring village. This seemed unlikely, but one day my mother-in-law heard Yulia talking to her son:

“Baby,” she said, breathing fumes on the boy, “you love your mother, don’t you?” Love it! Let's go to grandma's village, there's nature there, fresh air, there you will be surrounded by normal people. Not like these... Creatures!

At that moment, the mother-in-law ran into the room and kicked this drunkard out the door. No, no one was very worried, because it was clear that no one would give the boy to her. It was just that Romka, after meeting with his mother, took a very long time to come to his senses - he locked himself in the room and cried. Sometimes all day long.

Big problems

One day Yulia came without warning, she literally burst into the apartment.

- Romka, quickly get ready, we’re getting out of here immediately! I have big problems - the woman was rushing around the apartment in a panic, collecting her son’s things.

The boy watched with fear on his face as his drunken mother stuffed his blouse into some dirty bag. He throws his shoes and his favorite toy in there. With tears in his eyes, Roma rushed to his grandmother and clung to her feet.

- He won’t go anywhere with you! Well, get out, otherwise I'll call the police now! And don’t you dare approach him again until you come to your senses! – the mother-in-law barked at her daughter-in-law.

Just at that moment Kostya returned from work. He tried to explain to his ex-wife as delicately as possible that she no longer had rights to the child. So the court decided that they love Roma here and will not give her up even at gunpoint.

Kostya is generally a very calm and self-controlled person, and only a quarrelsome, uncontrollable woman could lead him to divorce. The scandal lasted for about an hour, the ex-daughter-in-law threw mud at everyone around her and threatened to kidnap the child. Leaving the apartment with nothing, Yulia turned around:

- Damn you all, you bastards! I will even get you from the other world! I’ll die, but I won’t give you life! You even bribed the court, you creatures!

And you know, Yulia kept her word... A week later she hanged herself. This outcome surprised no one. When a woman drinks, it happens quite often.

Later repentance

Since then in the house ex-husband strange things began to happen: icons fell from the walls, the lights turned on by themselves. But the worst thing is that Roma saw his mother every night and ran screaming to his father. Climbing his head under the blanket and trembling with horror, he pointed to the wall and said: “There’s mom!” There’s a dead mother standing there in the corner!”

It got to the point that the boy was afraid to close his eyes and be alone in the room even during the day. The parents consecrated the house and turned to local healers for help, but everything was in vain. This whole nightmare ended after Roma and his father went to the cemetery.

Frankly, at first everyone was against it, but the boy persistently asked Kostya to take him with him. At the cemetery, Roma asked to be left alone.

He pressed himself against the photograph on the cross and whispered something for a long time, wiping away his childish tears with his sleeve. What exactly the son said, no one knows to this day - he flatly refuses to talk about it.

But the point is that the ghost of the former daughter-in-law did not appear again. The situation at home also returned to normal, and Roma stopped being afraid and crying at night, and slowly he began to return to normal life.

Seven years have passed since then. From time to time, Roman asks his father to take him to Yulia’s grave, which he never refuses. What can you do if the child wants to talk to his mother? And her sinful soul probably wants to communicate with her son, whom she traded for a bottle. Maybe later, but repentance.

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