Traditional Jewish family. These strange Jewish customs Jews in everyday life
is one of the main values. Marriage is considered a normal human condition, and its absence rather indicates spiritual and physical inferiority. Unlike Christianity, Judaism does not associate celibacy with holiness; on the contrary, marriage is an ideal commanded by the Torah.
Marriages in Jewish society are still performed according to established traditions. Marriage is preceded by matchmaking (shidduch), which consists of introducing young people and their families. Very often, matchmaking is entrusted to a professional (shahdan); the initiators of matchmaking are often the parents of one of the parties. If the matchmaking was successful, then a document (tnaim) is drawn up, which indicates the wedding day and lists all the financial obligations that the parents of the newlyweds assume to organize and ensure the wedding. The wedding day itself is called “chuppah” or “day of the chuppah” (this is the name of the wedding canopy under which the marriage ceremony takes place). The wedding begins with the signing of the ketubah - a document that lists the rights and responsibilities of the husband and wife, including the man’s financial obligations in the event of divorce. The document is traditionally drawn up in Aramaic, the language spoken by Jews in ancient times, but is also translated into Hebrew.
IN Israeli families Women’s rights are quite seriously protected: for more than a thousand years there has been a ban on divorcing a woman if she does not agree; For more than two thousand years, there has been a custom of giving a woman a ketubah at a wedding - a document that protects her interests in the event of a divorce. The ketubah lists in detail the dowry that is given for the bride. The husband has the right to use the dowry, but in the event of a divorce, he is obliged to return it in full, adding to it another third of its value (the so-called “addition of a third”). The ketubah must be signed by witnesses (not relatives of the newlyweds, but by third parties), and the newlyweds also sign it. The ketubah is read out by the rabbi after the groom puts the wedding ring on the bride’s finger and then the ketubah is passed on to the bride.
If the family does not work out and it comes to divorce, the man must give his wife or her representative a special divorce document (get). Even if the divorce is initiated by the wife, the man must still give her this document, otherwise the wife will not be able to remarry. In addition, a woman does not have the right to remarry if her husband disappears, in which case she receives the status of “aguna” (tied).
Families in Israel are considered one of the calmest and most prosperous in the world. As a rule, in Israeli families it is not customary to raise your voice and solve problems too emotionally. It is believed that any conflict can be resolved through calm diplomatic means. Parents are an undeniable authority; they pass on to their children all national and family traditions, instilling the skills of correct behavior and upbringing.
Regarding the relationship between a man and a woman in Israeli families, then they are based on a certain degree of equality. Although a woman yields to a man the right to be first and foremost in the family, the Israeli family value system is based on the fact that each of them has his own responsibilities that the other could not fulfill, and all responsibilities are equally important for the full functioning of the family.
According to Israeli traditions, there must be absolute spiritual and physical purity in the relationship between spouses. For example, the moment a woman begins her menstrual cycle, she is considered unclean and her husband should not touch her. This period, which excludes the possibility of intimacy, begins on the first day of menstruation and ends with a special cleansing ritual. A woman should monitor the start time of her menstruation and know exactly the day when the cycle will begin. After the end of menstruation, it is necessary to count seven days, after which the woman undergoes a purification ceremony. After this, intimacy between spouses is again possible. In addition, it is believed that if a child is conceived during the menstrual cycle or before the purification ceremony, he will have a very impudent and rude character. If a child was conceived on pure days, then he will definitely grow up to be a kind and wonderful person.
There is an attitude in Israeli families to raising children. Like any other parents, Israelis want only the best for their children. In addition to the actual education of positive and good qualities in a child, in addition to developing his mind and the desire for success, Israeli families also instill love and reverence for religion and numerous national traditions, most of which are very ancient history. Children should sincerely and with true love honor not only relatives, but also the history, religion and culture of their people. Israelis do not belong to the category of parents who allow their children absolutely everything. Against, in Israeli families children are kept strictly and with early years clearly explain what is correct and permissible, and what is impermissible.
Israeli society is heterogeneous. In general, it can be divided into two categories: secular and religious. Approaches to 
life and raising children in these two categories differ significantly. If the secular part of the Jewish people is more similar to the Europeans in life guidelines and in the organization of living space, then the religious part of society - the Hasidim - are very much focused on religion, on observing all religious canons and rituals, of which there are a great many in Judaism. For secular families in Israel the average number of children is approximately two; for religious families, as a rule, five or six. The average birth rate in the country is somewhere around three children per woman.
In Israel, in accordance with the needs of such a heterogeneous society, sufficient a complex system education. There are three types of comprehensive schools: religious, state-religious and secular. In religious schools, secular subjects are left to the discretion of the administration, religious education dominates, and the Ministry of Education does not supervise such schools and does not issue diplomas. State-religious schools differ from the former in that they contain both religious and secular subjects in equal quantities, the Ministry of Education monitors the activities of such schools, and certificates are issued in them. Secular ones, accordingly, are mostly focused on secular education, religious subjects are presented to a minimum and are not compulsory, and certificates are also issued. Schools are also divided according to the payment system. Fully available free schools- state, there are semi-state (parents partially participate in the payment), as well as private, where tuition is paid entirely by the parents of the students. The most better education given in fee-paying schools. For additional education, there are also evening private schools with various specializations.
Kindergartens are free for children from three years old, the child can stay there until 13:00 - 13:30, that is, until lunch. Also in such kindergartens there is an after-school program until 16:00, but for an additional fee. Kindergartens up to three years old are paid; there are also private kindergartens where the child can stay full-time. The fee for a municipal kindergarten is on average 9% of average salary, and private can reach up to 30% of the average salary.
Most Jewish customs are related to religious holidays. People who have experienced many sorrows and hardships know how not only to cry and be sad, but also to rejoice.
The entire history of the Jewish people is closely connected with religion. Described in Holy books Holidays are dedicated to the events, and many customs originate from there.
In Israel, it is customary to celebrate as many as 4 New Years a year, and none of them fall on January 1st. According to Jewish customs, holidays are also the last day of the week and the beginning of each month.
Holiday Saturday
No one is allowed to work on Saturday, not even animals. Shabbat is a time of rest and fellowship with friends and relatives. On this holiday you cannot even turn on the lights; candles are lit by women on Friday evening and placed on festive table. Prayers are read over the wine and food before the meal. It is customary to pour wine to everyone present.
On Friday, according to tradition, cholent is prepared - a national dish made from beans or beans with spices and meat. The dish remains in the oven all the time before serving, which is why it acquires a special taste. On Saturday they also eat stuffed fish.
Holidays and customs
The Jews begin to celebrate the New Year in September-October; this period is a time of good intentions and repentance for past bad deeds. During the New Year holidays, it is customary to reflect on past events and your relationships with God and others. On New Year's Day it is customary to eat symbolic dishes. To make the coming year sweet and generous, apples and honey are served on the table. They eat a fish head to be guided in actions by the head and not by feelings, and a pomegranate with numerous grains symbolically means many expected good deeds and merits.
Yom Kippur
The holiest day of the year is Yom Kippur. Believing Jews fast for 25 hours, do not wear leather shoes and do not wash. At this time, it is customary to pray fervently in the synagogue. The “day of atonement” ends with the prolonged sound of the “shofar” - a ram’s horn.
Hanukkah
Hanukkah is celebrated in November-December. When evening comes, a lamp (Hanukkiah) is lit on the windowsill or at the entrance to the house. New lights are added daily until the total number reaches 8. On Hanukkah, potato pancakes and donuts are traditionally prepared. Children are allowed to go on vacation.
Purim
Purim is the most joyful holiday, which is celebrated at the end of February. At this time they have fun, dance and organize carnivals. Cakes, wine and sweets are placed on the festive table; the main dish of the holiday is gomentashen - triangular-shaped pies with raisins and poppy seeds.
Passover (Easter)
In March-April, Jews celebrate Passover (Easter), for which they prepare in advance. Food made from fermented dough is taken out of the house. Matzo (unleavened flatbread) is served on the table and eaten for 7 days.
Weddings and funerals
A wedding in Israel is called kiddushin, which translates as “dedication.” This means that the bride devotes herself to the groom during the celebration. It is customary to celebrate a wedding on fresh air, a hula is held over the bride and groom - a special canopy symbolizing them common Home. The feast lasts 7 days.
In the old days, funerals were a very complex procedure. All the furniture had to be taken out of the deceased’s house, relatives tore their clothes, and neighbors poured out the water they had. Nowadays, everything is significantly simplified - prayers are simply read over the deceased in the synagogue and at home, and an incision is made on the lapel. It is not customary to bring flowers to a grave; according to custom, a pebble is placed on it.
Living among representatives of different nationalities and ethnic groups, different Jews fulfill the commandments of the Torah in different ways, concentrating more or less attention on any of its features. In both cases, the fulfillment of the commandment is correct.
Very often, Jews are divided according to the regions in which they live. There are two main ethnic groups of Jews: Ashkenazi, or European, Germanic Jews, and Sephardim, or Middle Eastern or Spanish Jews. If we talk about Israeli Sephardim, we mean Jews who come from Morocco, Iraq, Yemen, etc. Separately, Bukharian, Mountain, Yemeni, Moroccan and even Indian Jews are often distinguished.
Briefly about different Jews
Bukharian Jews - Jews living in Central Asia. The first Jewish settlement here appears in Balkh. Apparently, the first Jewish settlers began to move to Bukhara back in the 7th century, when the Sassanids in Iran were defeated and the power of the caliphate was established there. They fled here along with Iranian refugees and established their neighborhoods here.
A new group of Jews arrived in Bukhara on the initiative of Timur. They say that in Shiraz (Iran) Timur was presented with a silk fabric of extraordinary beauty as a gift. He became interested in the craftsmen who made it. It turned out that the craftsmen were Jews. When the ruler of the new empire invited him to move to Bukhara, the Jewish artisans set one condition: they would move if ten families were allowed to do so at the same time, because... “according to their laws, prayer can be read with the participation of at least ten adult men.” Timur agreed. Ten families of skilled dyers moved to Bukhara. They created a separate industry in the Bukhara Emirate: dyeing workshops for dyeing silk and yarn.
The diaspora of Bukharian Jews developed quickly. They took over trade in some branches of handicraft. They did not assimilate into the Uzbek nation, but became an integrated part of it. They became part of the family of the Uzbek nation.
Of course, in the Bukhara Emirate they experienced persecution and humiliation. They were subject to religious hostility and their position was humiliating. Rich Jews were often beaten for demanding repayment of debt. This attitude towards Jews passed into both common law and legislation. Nevertheless, Bukharan Jews remained faithful to their faith, traditions, way of life, resignedly obeyed all regulations, but sought to live in friendship with the Uzbeks. They were not related, but lived as one family.
The first historical evidence of Ashkenazi Jews belong to the X-XIII centuries. Culturally, Ashkenazi Jews are the only direct and immediate heirs of the Jewish cultural tradition formed in ancient Judea and Babylon. The Ashkenazi cultural tradition was formed at the turn of the first and second millennium. The spread of Talmudic learning and Hebrew among the Jews of Europe at the end of the first millennium appears to be related to the general movement of the Jewish population from Asia to the west that followed the establishment of the Arab caliphate in the 7th century. The collapse of the united Baghdad Caliphate and the economic strengthening of communities in Europe led to the outflow of Jewish scholars to the West and the emergence of new centers of Jewish learning in Europe.
During the first millennium, the two main Jewish religious traditions were Palestinian and Babylonian. Until the 13th century, Ashkenazi Jews pronounced vowel sounds in Hebrew in the same way as Sephardim, i.e. according to Palestinian tradition. But in the 13th century, among the Ashkenazis, this tradition was replaced by the Babylonian one. However, there is no direct evidence of the migration of masses of Jews from Iraq to Germany in the 13th century.
Sephardic Jews They spoke a Judeo-Spanish dialect called Ladino. They considered themselves the Jewish elite. Spanish Jews often had a good secular education and were wealthy people. Even after their expulsion from Spain in 1492, these Jews retained a strong sense of group pride. The Sephardim who left Spain and settled elsewhere in Europe discriminated against other Jews. In the Sephardic synagogues of Amsterdam and London in the 18th century. Ashkenazim could not sit with the rest of the community, they were supposed to stand behind wooden partition. In 1776, the Sephardi community in London decreed that if a Sephardi marries an Ashkenazi daughter and dies, then the Sephardi community's charitable funds cannot be used to help the widow. Over time, these harsh rules were relaxed. Fun fact: If you meet a Jew with the last name Ashkenazi, he is almost certainly a Sephardi. Many generations ago, his European ancestor settled among the Sephardim, who nicknamed him Ashkenazi; the family nickname remained even when his descendants had long since become Sephardim.
There is another ethnic group - Mountain Jews - a branch of the Jewish people that speaks an Iranian dialect and traditionally lives in Eastern Caucasus. When Jews settled on the territory of Azerbaijan and Dagestan, another people already lived there - the Tats, Muslims of Iranian origin, they are also called Caucasian Persians. Actually, there are different versions about the resettlement of Jews to the Caucasus. At the end of the 19th century, ethnographer Ilya Anisimov in his book “Caucasian Mountain Jews” spoke about the similarity of the language of the Tats and Mountain Jews and concluded that Mountain Jews are Tats who converted to Judaism. And there is a version of the ethnologist Lev Gumilyov about the resettlement in the 6th century, that is, even before the advent of Islam, to Khazaria (now the territories of Dagestan and Chechnya) of Iranian-speaking Jews from Persia, where there was a large and influential Jewish community that switched from Hebrew to Persian.
Mountain Jews, in a sense, “complicate” their customs. They kept them almost unchanged - due to the fact that they lived unitedly and quite closed. For centuries they respected the laws of the Torah and remained faithful to the covenants of their fathers. Mountain Jews always had a rabbinical council, but in addition to this there was also a community council. Mountain Jews almost did not assimilate. Communities did not approve of mixed marriages.
Such different traditions
All Jews study Torah. But among European Jews, as a rule, it is customary to comprehend the Torah to a greater extent from the intellectual side. Among Sephardic people, emotional perception is often more important.
Jews celebrate Shabbat every week. This day reminds every Jew of the spiritual purpose in his life. Shabbat is one of the foundations of the unity of the Jewish people. A day of rest is considered to be the period of time from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday. In the Middle Ages, when some Jews were forcibly converted to Christianity, non-observance of the Sabbath was considered by the Inquisition as one of the most convincing proofs of the sincerity of newly baptized Christians. However, the forcibly converted Jews of Spain and Portugal, especially women, resorted to all sorts of tricks to avoid violating the Sabbath regulations. The lighting of Shabbat candles was done in such a way that Christian neighbors could not notice it: instead of lighting special candles, new wicks were inserted into ordinary candles. On Saturday they put on clean clothes; women refrained from weaving and spinning, and if they visited a Christian neighbor, they pretended to work; men went out into the fields, but did not work there; traders left their children in the shops in their place. A famous dish that Sephardim cooked on Shabbat was hamin - a large pot of rice, beans and meat, simmered in the oven for 24 hours.
Bukharan Jews prepared a type of pilaf for Shabbat. Its main difference from ordinary pilaf was that it did not contain carrots, but did have greens. Because of this, it was often called “green pilaf”. Bakhsh can be cooked both in a cauldron and in a bag.
Mountain Jews transformed many Azerbaijani dishes to their own taste. A popular dish for their Shabbat meal is Osh Yarpagi. It consists of cabbage leaves stuffed with finely chopped meat, onions, rice and herbs and cooked with quince in a sour cherry plum sauce.
And, of course, how can one not remember the gefilte fish - traditional dish Ashkenazi Jews, which is stuffed fish. Not a single holiday is complete without it, including Saturday.
One cannot ignore one of the most important and interesting Jewish customs - the Jewish wedding, that is, chuppah. Even 100-150 years ago, not only Jews, but almost all of them got married only through matchmaking. Still traditional way An engagement occurs among religious Jews, in particular among the Belz Hasidim. The bride or groom is found through matchmaking. First, the bride's father goes to look at the groom, later the groom's parents arrive to meet the bride, and a little later the young people meet each other. The girl has the opportunity to refuse the party, just like the boy. After the engagement, the bride and groom meet again, after which they separate until the wedding, which takes place in late autumn.
Both Ashkenazim and Sephardim exchanged gifts upon betrothal, with each Jewish community in Jerusalem maintaining its own customs. Among the Sephardim, the groom sent the bride trays of sweets for the holidays, where the most important among them was some kind of decoration. And the bride sent back the scroll of Esther in a beautiful case, an embroidered case for the tallit with the name of the groom. Among Ashkenazi Jews, the bride sent the groom a watch, shtreiml and tallit, and the groom sent the bride a silk dress embroidered with gold.
It is customary among Ashkenazi Jews for the groom to cover his bride's face with a veil before she enters under the chuppah. This gesture symbolizes the husband's intention to protect his wife, and dates back to when Rebecca married Abraham.
Depending on your ethnic group - Ashkenazi or Sephardi - there may be different dishes on the wedding table. Ashkenazis fry chicken and serve it with potatoes and various vegetables. Sephardim cook lamb or chopped chicken along with couscous (rice), generously sprinkled with spices and seasonings.
The Ashkenazis have a ritual called Kaparot. It is practiced by observant Jews on the eve of Yom Kippur. There are many different elements to the ritual, the most famous of which is spinning a live chicken or money over your head three times. The purpose of the ritual is to remind and make a person feel that sins are subject to severe punishment, which should prompt a person to repent on the eve of Judgment Day. The slaughtered chicken or money is given to poor people as a donation, thereby increasing their merits before the Day of Judgment. Spiritual leaders of Sephardim for a long time condemned this ritual, considering it pagan. Only after Isaac Luria and his followers gave this ritual a mystical meaning did the Sephardi attitude towards it begin to change.
Representatives of Haredi communities have at least one very strange ritual, which is not approved by representatives of other communities - a living person lies in a grave for some time. But for the ultra-Orthodox this is quite normal, even useful - they believe that it can prolong life.
Between the Sephardim and Ashkenazim there are also noticeable differences in the structure of the synagogues and the order of the synagogue service: for example, in the Sephardi synagogues the Sefer Torah was kept in a richly inlaid wooden or silver case (among the Ashkenazim - in a case made of brocade or silk), an ark (cabinet) for storing the scroll (hekhal, among the Ashkenazis - aron ha-kodesh) often had three compartments, of which the central one was the highest, the platform for public reading of the Torah (bima) was located in the center of the synagogue (among the Ashkenazis - near the aron ha-kodesh), the elevation of the Torah scroll was preceded his reading (among the Ashkenazis it followed him).
The Jewish people are large, diverse, and their people live in places with different everyday reality, mentality, and culture. But, despite this, we always felt our unity, as if intuitively sensing at a distance the joys and sorrows of our fellow tribesmen, trying to support and help. We know that thanks to this we will overcome everything and win, because another option is impossible for us.
Material prepared by Tatna Akhho
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Jewish traditions and rituals are mostly associated with religious holidays. As you know, these people have experienced a lot of sadness and loss, but still, they have not lost the ability to have fun.
The history of this people is associated with religion, originating in ancient times, which are described in the Holy Books. That's where they start Jewish traditions and customs.
One of the traditions is to reserve Saturday - the seventh day - for a day off. On this day, you cannot do things that bother a person on weekdays, you cannot talk about money and payments, and it is not even advisable to cook food. Artificial lighting should not be used; candles are used instead.
When it comes to marriage, it is considered a special Jewish tradition. The bride seems to devote herself to her future husband. The celebration should take place in the open air, and the newlyweds are held in hula throughout the ceremony. This is a canopy that symbolizes the newlyweds' joint home. The wedding is celebrated for seven days.
It is not so difficult to imagine the lifestyle of our forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Yaakov - just visit a Bedouin camp somewhere in the Judean Desert. You just need to first ask them to hide the generator and satellite TV dish. We also know the life of the Jews of the Second Temple era quite well: the life of this predominantly agricultural population is described in many details in the Talmud. But how was the life of our ancestors arranged after the exodus from Egypt and during the conquest of the Holy Land? When there were no cities and kings yet, and history was created by biblical prophets.
However, in the books of the prophets Yehoshua and Shmuel, as well as in the book of Judges, there are very few everyday details. Can archeology help us? Both archaeologists and the text of the Holy Scriptures are the same: at first, Jews settled in three mountainous regions of the country - in Judea, Samaria and the Jordan Valley. Politicians who call these lands “occupied territories” probably mean that they were occupied by Jews 35 centuries ago.
Excavations show that around the 15th century. BC. Most of the villages and cities in these mountains were destroyed and their populations disappeared, although the Canaanites in the valleys and the Philistines by the sea continued to live for centuries. After a hundred years, settlements of a new people began to appear on the site of the destroyed settlements or near them. And it is known about this people that they did not eat pork - usually in Canaanite excavations, pork bones make up about a fifth of all bones, but not a single one was found in these excavations. And the found remains of dishes were almost identical to those that, several centuries later, would spread throughout the cities and towns of the Jewish kingdom. So, apparently, these were our ancestors.
The structure of their houses was almost standard in all new settlements. When you entered the house you found yourself in a long open courtyard. There were usually two long rooms in the courtyard. One was closed and served as a kitchen; ceramic dishes for household use were also made there. Another is a covered courtyard in which women spun and weaved. The oven for bread and the hearth for cooking food were sometimes located in the open, but more often in the covered courtyard. And in the back there was a fourth room that served as a bedroom.
Archaeologists have noticed that this lack of internal and passage rooms made it possible to instantly get from the central courtyard to any room and distinguished Jewish houses from other houses of that era. One can see this as an illustration of the greater equality inherent in Judaism.
The floor in the houses was always earthen, and a mandatory tool in the house was a stone hand roller, which was used to regularly compact the floor. The roof of the house was also not wasted - fruits were dried on it, barrels of wine and oil were stored on it. Sometimes a small attic was built on it.
The settlements of the first centuries also have the usual general plan - a group of houses similar to the one described, with their entrance facing the center. Around a group of houses, as a rule, there was a wall, but not very high. Judging by its appearance, it was not so much a defensive wall as a pen in which cattle could be gathered for the night.
It is interesting that for some reason the described house plan was so important to our ancestors that they continued to use it even after several centuries - until the Babylonian captivity. However, in the beginning all the houses looked the same, and it was completely impossible to identify the houses of leaders or rulers, and during the reign of the kingdom we already see houses large and small, rich and poor.
Naturally, other changes occurred over time. For example, for the first few hundred years we do not find any writing among the Jews - unlike many of their neighbors. Only with the establishment of a solid central government did literacy begin to spread among the people. In the first centuries, Jews used almost exclusively bronze to make tools and weapons, and only seven percent of the tools found were iron. By the time the kingdom was created, iron tools were already replacing bronze ones.
I had already started writing this article when, in the territory of our village of Nokdim, located on the edge of the Judean Desert, archaeologists excavated a small farm from almost that time - the 8th or 7th century BC. And they found the same house plan with a warehouse and a cattle pen. Archaeologists are confident that this was the only settlement on this hill - from the dawn of time until the founding of our village about forty years ago.
We stood on a hill and imagined their life: several houses, sheep in a pen, a fire in the hearth. And around there was a deserted desert for many kilometers, only to the west stood a small city of those times - Tkoa. It seems that our ancestors lived on such lonely farms in the times described.
The prophet Amos introduces himself in the first words of his book: “The words of Amos, who was one of the shepherds in Tekoa.” If not directly on this, then on exactly the same farm, a great prophet grew up, first predicting terrible punishments for injustice, but ending with words that sound so well now on the hills of Judea and Samaria: “And I will bring back the exiles of my people Israel, They will rebuild the deserted cities, and settle in them, and plant vineyards, and drink wine from them, and plant gardens, and eat their fruits. And I will plant them in their land, and they will no longer be uprooted from the land that I gave them,” said Lord G-d is yours".
